Episode
                  19: The Assault on the Barge 
                  Airing Date
                  2000-03-30

            In case anyone’s getting the wrong idea, I’m not a misogynist. 
            Really, I’m not. I regard people of both sexes the same and then 
            individually judge the heck out of them once I get to know ‘em. I 
            only mention this because I suppose someone might get the wrong idea 
            after reading through these voluminous Gundam Wing reviews.
            Let’s take a look at the scoreboard, shall we? First I rake Dorothy 
            "Twigbrows" Catalonia over the coals -- even though Dot doesn’t 
            appear until the later episodes, she was hit first. Then I rip 
            Relena Darlian to shreds. And now, well, now I point my razor-sharp 
            wit (ha!) at Lady Une, sidekick to his royal dudeness Treize 
            Khushrenada. 
            In my defense, I’d like to point out my harsh treatment of Zechs 
            Merquise. Zechs, a guy so loony they named him twice (he’s now 
            calling himself Milliardo Peacecraft, in case you missed that 
            newsletter) is someone I have trouble keeping up with. Logic-wise, 
            the guy’s a mess. Maybe this is because of a shallow gene pool -- 
            who knows what weird "kissin’ cousin" couplings went on in the Sanc 
            Kingdom? Or maybe it’s because he was raised by the Merquises 
            instead of his own kin. Whatever. My point is that I’m harsh with 
            several of the After Colony characters -- not just those who pee in 
            the ladies’ room.
            So...let’s talk about Colonel Une. I don’t know what she’s smoking 
            but this chick’s gone totally around the bend. At first, she was 
            donning this soft, friendly, gentler and kinder disguise to lull the 
            Colony leaders to sleep while OZ moves its Mobile Dolls into 
            position all over Outer Space. Now, however, she seems to have split 
            into two totally distinct personalities -- one’s the harsh-as-always 
            Colonel Une, the other’s a peace-loving girl who conditions her hair 
            with buttercups.
            Whassup, Une? Maybe she pulled too many Gs on her last burn out of 
            Earth’s atmosphere. I truly hope this bizarre hiccup is explained. 
            Otherwise this will prove to be a major distraction. "Assault On 
            Barge," as you might have guessed, revolves around a planned attack 
            on OZ’s space fortress. A fleet of super-powered Taurus Mobile Dolls 
            and Leo Mobile Suits capture Duo and blow the right arm off his 
            Deathscythe -- ouch! Heero slips aboard Barge and returns the favor 
            Duo did him when he was rescued from an Alliance military hospital 
            on Earth.

                  Now that my mask is off I see that this jacket is ridiculous.
            The two superspies cause some clever havoc by reprogramming a Taurus 
            Doll. Further aiding their escape is a well-planned surprise visit 
            from Chang Wufei, who’s back in action after disappearing for a 
            while. Une, meanwhile, is painting her nails aboard her shuttle. 
            Weird.
            Finally, Zechs wakes up on a floating Mobile Suit repair yard and 
            meets Howard, one of the original designers of the Tallgeese. Howard 
            repairs the MS and helps Zechs, um, Milliardo, blast off into Outer 
            Space. Hmm. No Relena bashings, no Twigbrow jokes and I wasn’t even 
            that tough on Une. See? I’m not such a bad guy. Yeah, right.

            --Ross Brooks is harsh with a capital HA.