Episode
                  16: The Sorrowful Battle
                  Airing Date
                  2000-03-27

               
            Someone’s gonna have to stop Relena Peacecraft because this chick is 
            totally out of control. She’s like some kind of teenaged Joan 
            Collins but without the vindictive streak. She’s unstoppable. She’s 
            not a bitch but, man, does she ever play by her own rules. She’s 
            laughable yet there’s very little that’s actually funny about her. 
            In fact, we’ve yet to witness even a smidgen of a sense of humor 
            about the girl. She’s a diva, plain and simple. And in this 
            particular episode, she’s the spoiled frosting on what would have 
            been a delicious cake.
            Picture this -- Heero (in Trowa’s Heavyarms) and Zechs (in the 
            Tallgeese) have been duking it out on the frozen tundra of the South 
            Pole for over THREE HOURS. This is Muhammad Ali versus George 
            Foreman. This is Luke Skywalker versus Darth Vader. This is epic and 
            no one should ever consider getting between these two warriors until 
            THEY’VE decided the fight is through. So what happens? Relena 
            Peacecraft has her butler fly her personal Harrier-style jet RIGHT 
            BETWEEN the two Mobile Suits. She’s hanging out of the plane waving 
            a letter addressed to Heero which she’s already opened and read and 
            she screams, "Heero, I have a letter for you." Say what?! Has anyone 
            in the history of the world ever gone to such extraordinary lengths 
            to deliver a letter before? Forget resurrecting the Sanc Kingdom, 
            Relena -- get a friggin’ job with the Post Office!
            What makes the whole thing even worse is that after going back and 
            forth for hours, the fight’s basically over. Zechs is about to 
            deliver the final blow and finish off Heero once and for all. It’s a 
            shock -- yes. It’s not what a lot of us would have hoped for -- 
            definitely. But it would’ve been a fair end to an amazing battle. 
            And Relena Peacecraft ruined it.

                  It's true -- I am the Phantom of the Soap Opera.
            Then, after way too many OZ Mobile Suits approach the area, Zechs 
            volunteers to cover while Noin, Relena, Heero and Trowa make their 
            escape. What are Zechs’ last words as he speeds toward battle? 
            "Glory to the Colonies!" Again -- say what?! Since when did this guy 
            join the good fight? Did I miss something or are all the Peacecrafts 
            a little loony?
            If you haven’t glanced down at the rating of this episode yet, let 
            me save you the trouble. The only thing that prevented this sucker 
            from getting a 1 was the battle itself. Relena’s antics took 3 
            points right off the top. And if Zechs hadn’t been such a great 
            fighter, his about-face would’ve hurt the score, too. Remember these 
            two simple rules, Gundamaniacs. 1) NEVER get in the middle of a 
            great fight and 2) if you’re gonna yell something as you square off 
            against impossible odds (even if you do plan on surrendering after 
            your friends get away), write it down first. Otherwise you just come 
            off looking like some guy who buys a Yankee hat after New York wins 
            the World Series. And that, my friends, is a loser.

            --Ross Brooks will be a New York Giants fan and a Los Angeles 
            Dodgers fan forever.