Episode 11: The Whereabouts of Happiness Airing Date 2000-03-20 "The Whereabouts of Happiness." Who comes up with these titles? I know, I know. Those of you Gundamaniacs out there don’t need to write in. I’m aware that the original, Japanese title of this episode was (roughly translated) "Where Has Happiness Gone?" but let’s be honest -- how great of a title is that one, either? "The Whereabouts of Happiness" sounds like something Peaches and Herb might’ve sung a hundred years ago. Maybe it’s a new ad campaign for Victoria’s Secret. What it isn’t is a great title for a TV show. If it were up to me, I’d retitle this episode something like ""Relena Peacecraft -- Lady Assassin" or "Desert Oasis." Sure, maybe they’re not as lyrical as "The Whereabouts of Happiness" but c’mon, they fit the story, don’t they? Regardless, Episode #11 in the "Gundam Wing" saga is a simple little ditty which flashes back and forth between two competing stories. This is worth noting only because its simplicity is not the usual for this show. In fact, I’m not sure if any of the previous ten episodes featured less than three plots. Whatever. The two stories which concern us in the here and now focus on young Relena Darlian Peacecraft and Duo Maxwell and his blossoming friendship with Quatre Raberbe Winner. Relena, who’s supposed to be the pacifist member of the Peacecraft clan (as opposed to her war-crazy big bro, Milliardo -- or Zechs, as his friends call him), plans what’s actually a pretty good assassination attempt. Sure, John Wilkes Booth was a pro because he had an escape plan but then again, Relena didn’t risk breaking her ankle jumping twenty feet as part of her getaway. Instead, the kid just whipped a pistol out from her party dress, pointed it at Lady Une (who just drips with negative energy, dontcha think?) and fired. Unfortunately, besides forgetting about an escape plan, Relena never took target practice, either. She’s like five feet away with an unobstructed view of Lady Une and SHE MISSES! Then, just as OZ robots move in for their revenge, cooler-than-cool (not to mention oh-so-hot) Lucrezia Noin shows up to shelter Relena under her wing. Interesting development, huh? Go ahead, make my cocktail party. Story #2 finds Duo and Quatre becoming buds and realizing that their mission statements are word-for-word exact. In other words, whoever is acting as each guy’s controller must be working together. Again, interesting. Quatre’s forty bodyguards/man servants/soldiers also show Duo a cool, hidden base in the middle of the desert. These Manguanacs know how to party, too. As they enter a nearby, sympathetic town, there’s a beautiful woman for every guy! It’s not really important to the show, but I just have to point out that Rashid (the Manguanac leader) dresses up as Wolverine next Halloween. I mean, either they go to the same hair stylist or this guy IS Wolverine! Anyway, what follows is anyone’s guess. I will predict this, though -- the Gundams can’t not fight much longer. To paraphrase Popeye, "They are what they are." And those five lads are fightin’ machines. Relena, on the other hand, should stick to her homework. Or at the very least go to a gun range. --Ross Brooks plans to dress as Rashid for Halloween so he can tell everyone he's not Wolverine.